From the Ashes
by Dave-The-Laugh's-NewHotness
Summary: Futurefic. Casey is an actress, Derek is her best friend. What happens when something terrible happens to Casey? Warning: Non described rape, angst - this is not a fluffy fic people! Non Dasey friendship. Please R&R. Chapter 7 now up
1. Just a drink

Ok people, just something that popped into my head. I own nothing, all characters belong to LWD.

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Casey stared at the screen, watching an early edit sent over by the director, which had arrived by post that morning. They had wrapped up the movie 6 weeks before, and she'd been able to think of nothing else ever since. She was transfixed by her 2-dimensional self - the girl's eyes were sparkling and she was grinning up at her co-star as though he were her knight in shining armour. A shiver involuntarily ran up her spine as she remembered when she'd stopped thinking of Tim Steel as her friend, and started knowing him as a base, instinctive male.

"_Coming for a drink, Case? It IS the last day of filming tomorrow, and we did our last scene together today. I'll be going back to LA in a couple of days time" Tim tried to cajole Casey into joining him for a drink, as he had every night for the last two weeks. Normally, Casey declined, saying she had to prepare for the next day, but today she figured it couldn't hurt. After all, Tim was right- it WAS their last night before filming wrapped._

_She'd thought it had been lots of them going for a drink, all their co-stars, but when she'd arrived at the bar, it was just Tim, sitting there with a smug, cat-who's-got-the-cream smirk that was nowhere near as endearing as the smirk worn by her step-brother, Derek. _

_Casey, being Casey, had had one glass of red wine, then stuck to soda all evening – after all, she still had scenes to shoot the next day – but after they'd been there about an hour, and she was looking for a reason to leave, even for a few minutes, she'd excused herself from the (one-sided) conversation and gone to the bathroom. She felt grateful for even those few minutes of peace, not having to hear about all of Tim's MANY achievements. When she got back to her seat, Tim apologised – he knew he'd been talking about himself, and he was sorry. They started talking about more neutral topics. Casey had finished her soda and said she was going to go back to her hotel, it was getting late. As she'd stood up to leave, she'd gone dizzy and had to sit back down again. Tim had been the epitome of concern, even offering to pay for a cab home for her, but she insisted all she needed was fresh air. When Tim offered to walk her, she refused, but not very strongly. After all, she could barely walk straight – it made sense to have someone looking out for her when she was in that condition._

_As they'd walked few blocks to Casey's hotel, she'd started to feel more and more ill, until it was all she could do not to crawl on her hands and knees. She remembered Tim saying that all she needed was to sleep; she didn't disagree._

After that, everything had been a blur, which Casey had heard said before, but thought it such a cliché, it couldn't be true. She was wrong.

_All she knew for definite when she awoke that something was wrong. She supposed the wine had affected her more than she'd thought, until she'd got to work and seen Tim. The flashback had hit her like a punch in the stomach, and she was physically sick as soon as she got to the bathroom. To make things worse, the director told her that the pivotal moment in the film – their big reunion – had sound issues, and they needed to re-shoot it. Casey had no idea how she'd managed not to throw up the entire duration of the extra shoot, but somehow she'd managed it. As soon as the scene was finished, she'd said very hurried goodbyes and got a taxi to the airport. She was so thankful she'd cleared her part of the trailer the day before. _

In the 6 weeks that had past, Casey had done little else but sit at home on the sofa, staring at the wall. She spoke to her mother once a week, to allay any suspicions Nora fostered about her eldest daughter's ability to take care of herself. She ate when she was hungry, but only food that didn't require a great deal of preparation. Most of the time she just sat, wishing she had the courage to tell someone of her suspicions, but knowing that no one would believe her. She knew she wasn't living, merely existing, but at least she was existing. In time, she knew that she'd be able to put all this behind her, not think about it anymore, except as something that happened to her, once.

She was getting almost used to her little routine, almost beginning to find comfort in the benign existence she led, almost beginning to realise that she could move on from this, when the ball dropped and she realised that she hadn't even hit rock bottom yet, let alone started to crawl out of the hole.

She was getting cold noodles from the fridge when she caught sight of the calendar hanging next to it. A Big red circle caught her eye – as did the fact that the big red circle was on a day that had been and gone – 4 weeks ago.

Casey's fragile mind at first couldn't work out what was wrong, what was niggling her, and then suddenly a rush of realisation hit her so hard that she gasped as though she'd been physically punched. Then her world went dark as she collapsed into a heap on the floor, unconscious.


	2. En route to Seattle Grace hospital

Ok, I know this is short, but I needed to have Derek find out something was wrong on the phone, not in person. Also, I've turned this into a crossover because it means I don't have to make up Doctors' names. I hope you enjoy, there should be more soon.

I own nothing

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Derek Venturi turned to look at the clock on the wall next to him, checked that it wasn't too late to ring Casey, and picked up the phone. He hadn't heard from her for over 2 months – the longest they'd gone without speaking in a long time. He'd left countless messages on her machine, but none of them had been returned. He'd tried stopping by, both before and after work, and once during. He'd closed his practice mid morning in the hope of finding her in, but to no avail. He knew that she'd been busy with the film, but that had to have all finished by now.

"Dr. Venturi, have you got time to squeeze in a patient now? It's an emergency or I wouldn't ask." Derek's PA put her head round the door and asked.

"Ok, Lucy, send them in now. I've got a few minutes before my next appointment." Derek smiled at Lucy Wilder as he replaced the phone – after all, Nora spoke to Casey each week, so nothing could be too wrong.

While he was trying to soothe the worries of an anxious mother whose 9 month old baby hadn't been sleeping or eating, had been crying almost incessantly and had cold symptoms – all common symptoms of teething, but it was the mother's first child, and Derek preferred those who panicked over nothing to those who neglected their children – Lucy buzzed through the intercom that he had a phone call which sounded important. He quickly dashed off a 'script for paracetamol suspension and told the woman to buy some teething gel, saw them out, then sat down to take the call.

"Dr Venturi speaking"

"Dr Venturi, this is Isabella Thornton, I'm a paramedic. Do you know a woman named Case McDonald?" Derek's blood ran cold as he imagined 100 terrifying possibilities that would explain why a paramedic was asking him about Casey.

"Yes, she's my step sister. Is there a problem, Miss Thornton?"

"She's currently en route to Seattle Grace hospital. She appears to have taken an overdose. As you're down as her emergency contact, would you be able to come down to the hospital as soon as possible please?"

"I'll be there as soon as I get a flight"

Derek put down the phone and ran out the door, grabbing his bag and yelling to Lucy to cancel his appointments until further notice.

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Again, apologies if this was rushed, but it kind of had to be for the story's sake. Please R&R


	3. A Case in the Pit

Ok, this is where my Grey's Anatomy story starts. I decided to set it mid-season 2 in the GA timeline, so that Addison is still working at Seattle Grace, and also so that I can re-write the Denny storyline (because I just can't stand him, I didn't like him when he was alive, and I liked him even less as an annoying hallucination). Another point is that although this is set about 2 years ago for the current GA timeline, it's set about 8 years from now in the LWD timeline...the only way it could work really.

Again, I own nothing, not Life with Derek or Grey's Anatomy. I also don't own Runaway Train by Soul Asylum.

Oh and I'm not a doctor, so please forgive me if some of the medical stuff doesn't make sense

Please R&R

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Dr. Alex Karev stood outside a patient's room, staring at the occupants. At first glance, it looked to be just another patient and his doctor...until you took a second glance, and realised that most doctors didn't sit on their patient's bed and flirt with them. And that most patients didn't gaze longingly at their doctor when they thought she – or her boyfriend – weren't looking.

Alex hated seeing his girlfriend do this, day in and day out, but what he hated more was knowing that he deserved it. After all, Dr. Izzie Stevens didn't have the monopoly on cheating, and as he hadn't walked in on her and Denny having sex in the on call room, he imagined it had been worse for her. Except that she hadn't had to watch him slowly falling in love with Olivia, hadn't had to watch his eyes light up every time her name was mentioned. Alex had seen all this. He saw Denny come alive when Izzie was in the room, in a way that would have seemed impossible for someone dying, quite literally, of a broken heart. He saw Izzie's eyes start to radiate a glow when she saw Denny that Alex had never seen in her eyes when they were together. And it was slowly killing him. After all, she hadn't even had the decency to end their relationship – she still came up to Alex and kissed him first thing every morning, when they were in the locker room. She still looked for him at lunch. But when he asked her out on dates, she said she was busy, had some studying to do. One night she'd even fobbed Alex off with the excuse that she was washing her hair, which he knew was just girlspeak for "I can't think of anything I'm doing but I so badly don't want to go out with you that I'm using the worst excuse in the world."

As he was about to enter the room and see the farce of his girlfriend trying to please both her boyfriend and the man she loved at the same time, while trying not to give the impression that she was doing anything unethical that would get her into trouble with Bailey or the chief, Alex's pager went off. It was the pit – he'd been assigned there that morning, along with Izzie, but while he'd been busy suturing up a stupid blonde woman who'd tripped while walking on cobbles in stilettos and cut her head open, she'd passed her next patient over to him and disappeared upstairs to sit with Denny.

Alex ran downstairs, knowing that Izzie's pager would have gone off as well, and that she'd be following swiftly behind him, They'd had a 911 page – a 25 year old woman had come in, she'd taken an overdose.

"25 year old female, name is Casey McDonald, she took an overdose, but we're not sure what of yet. It seems that she regretted what she'd done, rang for an ambulance and made herself sick. She was found in the bathroom, collapsed. All her vitals are ok, weak but there, but she's unresponsive. She should pull through. Her next of kin's been notified; he said he'd be getting the first flight he could" Isabella Thornton quickly bought Alex and a very out of breath Izzie up to speed as they unloaded the stretcher carrying Casey McDonald.

"Miss McDonald, can you hear me? Ok, get her onto a gurney and start her on an IV of saline solution, hopefully we can clear her body of whatever she put into it. Izzie, you can go back upstairs, I got this one. I'm sure Denny needs his hand holding." Izzie glared at Alex.

"I'm not going to run off. When I went before, we weren't busy. Now we are, I'll stay and help."

As the two bickered and argued the woman on the gurney suddenly jerked her head and came to, opening her eyes with a start.

"Wait...where am I?"

"Miss McDonald, you're in a hospital. You took an overdose, but we don't know of what – nothing was found in the apartment. Can you tell us what you took?" Alex asked, slowing the gurney down so he could look Casey in the eyes. She looked as though she were about to lapse into unconsciousness again, her eyes fading. There was definitely something there though, something important she needed to say.

"I took...I don't...no time...pregnant" was all the woman could muster up before she lost consciousness again.

Alex and Izzie looked at each other.

"Pregnant?" Izzie asked. Alex nodded, before turning to yell at a nurse:

"Page Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd...NOW"

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As he boarded the first available flight to Seattle, Derek's nerves were in shreds, he'd already mentally started writing Casey's eulogy, and had had to pretend he had a severe case of hayfever – in November – several times to cover up his red eyes. He needed to get to where Casey was, and find out just what the hell was going on. His Casey wouldn't take an overdose, wouldn't try to kill herself, so what could have happened to make her change. So far as he knew, she'd been shooting a movie, and then taking a rest afterwards to recuperate. He just could not understand what had gone on to make Casey take such a desperate step. The thought occurred to him that somebody could have hurt her, or forced her to take an overdose, and his feelings of brotherly protection were so strong that his fingers, gripping the armrest, nearly tore through the fabric.

Trying to force himself to relax, Derek put his headphones on and set his iPod to shuffle. Of course, the first song that played, Murphy's Law being what it is, was Runaway Train, by Soul Asylum. Casey loved that song, and had said for a long time that Derek was her 'person' – the one she'd call in the middle of the night when she couldn't sleep, the one she'd always turn to.

As the truth sunk in – that Casey hadn't felt able to pick up the phone and call him when things were bad – Derek swore that no matter what it took, he'd find out what the hell had happened, who the hell had made it happen, and if there were any vengeance to be taken, he wouldn't hesitate. He wouldn't give Casey the chance not to let him take care of her again


	4. Venturi to the rescue

Sorry for the delay in posting this, I found this chapter quite hard to get to grips with. As always, thank you for those who reviewed, and please continue to do so.

I own nothing!

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Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd looked down at the young woman with sympathy and compassion. In her opinion, people who knew they were pregnant didn't try and kill themselves without good reason. There had to be a reason why this young woman, with her whole life in front of her, felt that not living that life was the only way out. She only hoped that she'd regain consciousness soon and be able to answer some questions.

Alex Karev was standing outside the woman's room, watching Addison watch the patient. He wanted to ask her how she coped with watching the person she loved fall in love with someone else, right in front of her. After all, the entire hospital knew about Derek and Meredith – apart from Derek and Meredith. Addison's husband Derek Shepherd, the bigshot neurosurgeon with the perfect hair and dreamy eyes had waltzed in 4 months ago and swept new surgical intern Meredith Grey off her feet. Except then his estranged wife had turned up, and things had gone downhill from there. Now, all the interns had messed up lives – George was still hurting over Meredith, and kind of dating an ortho resident who was overly clingy, Christina and Burke were constantly fighting and making up, all the time. Meredith was trying to pretend she didn't still have feelings for a certain neurosurgeon they all knew. Izzie was falling in love with a patient. And that wasn't even touching on his own problems. Alex Karev was trying to protect his sometime love from the wrath of Bailey when she found out about Izzie's said involvement with a patient. So, strange as it might seem, at that moment in time, Alex actually wished he could trade places with the suicidal pregnant chick.

He was shaken from his daydreaming by the arrival of a dark haired man in a tatty leather jacket.

"Hi, I was told you were one of the doctors who treated my step-sister...is she going to be ok?"

"Are you Mr Venturi?" Addison stepped in and asked. This was clearly far too sensitive a topic to be handled by a mere intern.

"Dr Venturi actually, but Derek's fine. Is Casey ok? What happened?" The man, who looked to be in his mid twenties, started to run a hand through his hair distractedly.

"She was bought in after dispatches received a 911 call made by Miss McDonald. Apparently she'd taken an overdose, but had regretted it. When paramedics arrived at her apartment, she was in the bathroom, collapsed on the floor. It appears she tried to overdose by taking too many sleeping pills. When she was bought in we were able to stabilise her condition, and both mother and child should be just fine".

All the colour drained from Derek's face, and he started striding up and down.

"Did you just say 'MOTHER AND CHILD' will be ok? Because I think I need to get my hearing tested. Casey's not pregnant. She can't be pregnant. There is NO ONE less likely to get pregnant than Casey."

Addison and Alex exchanged a look. If this was how her step brother reacted, could it have been fear of recrimination that prompted the woman to try and take her life.

"Dr. Venturi, maybe we should take a walk so you can ask any questions you might have. Miss McDonald will be waking up soon, so you'll be able to talk to her soon" Alex tried to calm Derek down, but he was refusing to cooperate.

"Listen, I'm a Doctor, ok. I know the procedure for difficult family members, and that's how I'm being treated now. I am not leaving Casey's side until she wakes up, because I am not having her wake up on her own after what she's just been through and the only way you'll be able to stop me is if you have me arrested. That is my step sister and best friend lying in that hospital bed and if you think for one second that I'm going to be anything other than 100% supportive, I will prove you wrong."

Derek was glaring at the two doctors, not knowing that his little speech had actually done the world of good. It had proved to them that this hurt, broken young woman would have at least one champion, would have at least one friend to rely on while she pulled herself through this difficult time.

"Dr. Venturi, I can see you clearly care about Miss McDonald. Getting overly stressed or worried won't help anyone, especially not the patient. If she wakes up and you're in this state, she'll be worrying about you instead of concentrating on getting better. Now, how about we go get a coffee and Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd can page me when Casey wakes up. Remember, as far as she knows, you're not here. She won't know anything beyond calling the paramedics, so she won't miss you if she wakes up and you're not there. Ok?" Alex Karev was speaking in a low tone, trying to keep Derek calm. Addison was shocked. She'd rarely seen Karev so compassionate, and wondered as to the cause.

As she watched the two men walking towards the cafeteria, Addison's attention was caught by the sound of a giggle coming from behind her. She turned to see her husband and Meredith Grey walking along talking – apparently about a patient, but from their demeanour you'd never guess it – and laughing. Seeing them together, Addison's heart began to physically ache, and she had to fight back an urge to be sick.

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I'll try not to leave it too long before updating again, but you never know. Thanks for reading


	5. Awake

Apologies for the time I've taken to update, and thank you to everyone who reviewed. I still don't own either LWD or Grey's Anatomy. Please R&R

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Izzie Stevens sat on Denny's bed, trying to conceal her scrabble tiles from him. She'd snuck off at the earliest available opportunity, once the patient had been stabilised.

"Denny, stop trying to get a glimpse of my cards. If you want to win by making me feel sorry for you, what with your messed up heart and all, that's fine, but stop being so blatant" the blonde doctor teased the man lying in the bed. She poked her tongue out from between her lips and winked so he'd know she was joking, although he'd have known anyway that she wasn't serious.

"Well then woman, stop coming here and practically flashing them in my face. You're not giving a guy a chance here, even if he is more dead than alive. You shouldn't mock the afflicted." With that, Denny leaned forward, pretending to try to get a peek at Izzie's tiles, but when she wasn't looking, he reached out a finger and poked her in the ribs.

"Ugh, Denny, you know I'm ticklish...don't" Izzie tried to say between laughing. The pair were so engrossed with each other that neither one of them heard the door open.

"Something funny, Stevens?" Bailey's voice ricocheted off the walls like gunshot. Izzie snapped her head round and saw her resident standing in the doorway, clearly furious. Denny tried to ease the situation.

"Dr. Bailey, it's my fault. I asked Izzie to play scrabble with me to cheer me up. Kick me out of the hospital; don't kick her out of the programme". Denny tried to get round Bailey with a grin; it didn't work.

"Dr. Stevens, go back down to the pit, which is where I assigned you this morning. Apologise to Karev for leaving him down there alone, and beg one of the good people to find a job for you to do. If I hear you've been away from there – and I WILL hear about it – or if I go down there at ANY TIME – and I just might – and you're not there, you had better have a valid, non-Denny related reason or I will go to the chief about this. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" Izzie nodded and got up off the bed, before stopping and turning back to Denny.

"I wasn't going to let you win, you know"

"Stevens. Pit! Now!" Bailey yelled. She turned and watched as her intern marched out of the room, head held high.

"See, Denny, that's why you don't get involved with patients. You know I'm gonna have to virtually put a guard on your room now. Stevens won't listen to me, she'll keep coming back" Bailey said in amatter of fact tone. She went around the bed, straightening Denny's pillows and checking his vitals.

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Alex's pager beeped at him while he was sitting with Derek in the cafeteria. Derek started, eager to know the news. But when Karev looked at the message on the screen, he sighed, rolled his eyes, and slowly started getting up.

"False alarm, that was another doctor asking me where I am. You can stay if you want to, I'll get Dr. Shepherd to page one of the nurses over there." Karev pointed to a nurse's station, but Derek was already on his feet.

"I need to be easily reachable le for when that Space Case sister of mine wakes up. Can I come and wait down by Casey's room? I promise I won't be in the way." Alex nodded his consent, his mind on why Stevens had deigned to drag herself down from her usual spot on Denny's bed.

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"Alex, Bailey caught me. I was sitting on...oh, hi" Izzie trailed off from her rather panic stricken explanation when she saw Derek. They'd just disembarked from the elevator and were heading for Casey's room.

"Dr. Izzie Stevens, this is Dr. Derek Venturi. He's the step brother of the patient who was bought in – the attempted suicide?"

Izzie's face coloured as she realised she'd completely forgotten about the patient while she was with Denny.

"Do you have any news of her, Dr. Stevens?" Izzie's heart nearly broke, looking at the young man. He was desperate for information, and she'd been distracted, off with Denny, when she should have been working.

"Dr. Stevens doesn't, but I do. She's just woken up, and she's going to be fine. You're free to go in and see her, but she might be a bit groggy." Dr Shepherd said as she turned the corner and happened on her interns. "Dr. Stevens, could I speak with you a moment?" Derek heard the red head doctor ask as he walked into Casey's room.

She was lying in the bed, looking so small, and so pale. A drip was going into her veins via her hand, and she was connected to various monitors which beeped as she lay there. As Derek stood there, she started trying to sit up.

"Hey, hey, Case, lie down. Don't push yourself. I'm here, and I will be here until you're recovered" Derek sat down on the chair next to Casey's bed, and took one of her hands in his.

She turned to look at him, and just started crying. He leant forward and held her in his arms, stroking her back while she cried. His heart broke in two as he listened to Casey, the strong girl who'd verbally and physically challenged him since they'd met, the girl responsible for getting him through college and into med school, his strong girl who never let anyone walk over her, not since Truman, sobbed into his shoulder because of something as yet unknown. All Derek knew was, it wouldn't be good.

After a while, Casey leaned back, and wiped her eyes.

"I'm pregnant – I suppose the doctors would have told you that. That's why...that's why I'm here. It's why I tried to kill myself, and it's why I rang the ambulance before it was too late. I couldn't kill an innocent, could I?" she asked, sounding like the old Casey.

"Why would you need to kill yourself, just because you're pregnant? We'd have taken care of it, even if the father wasn't interested. Hey, even if YOU didn't want the kid, we'd have supported you, and figured something out."

Casey took a deep breath, before looking her step brother in the eye, preparing to say the hardest thing in the world.

"This wasn't some drunken mistake Derek. Well, it was, but not the one you're thinking of. I was raped, by one of the other actors on the film. That's why I haven't spoken to you in 2 months, because I knew that I could fool Mom into thinking I was fine, but you know how I think and you know how I sound when I'm trying to put on a brave face. I didn't want anyone to know, then this happened, and I realised the whole world would know something had happened. That was what I couldn't face." Tears were openly streaming down Casey's face again, as for the first time she told another human what had happened to her.

Derek kissed Casey on the forehead, whispered in her ear that he loved her, that they'd all take care of her, and said that he'd be back soon. Then he stood and walked out of the room. Seconds later, Casey heard the thud of someone punching a wall, then a noise, more animal than human, the sound of raw pain and anger.

Alex Karev looked up as the door to Casey McDonald's room opened, and Dr. Venturi walked out. He went over to speak to him, but didn't reach him before he punched a hole in the wall, and let out a noise of anguish.

Alex put his hand on the other man's shoulder in a gesture of comfort. When Derek turned to look at Alex, there were tears in his eyes.

"She was raped. My beautiful, talented, smart step sister was brutalised. What do I do"

Alex said nothing, just left his hand on Derek's shoulder, so he'd know he wasn't alone.

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Ok, that was quite a hard chapter to write. One thing I knew I had to do was get Izzie questioning the time she spent with Denny. Also, how Casey told Derek was hard. I'm quite happy with how it is, but I'm happy to hear any critiscm, even flames, if you must lol. Please review, and I'll try and update again soon.


	6. The Long Road Ahead

Ok, I know it's been too long since I updated this, and I'm sorry. This chapter is shorter than originally intended, mainly because I decided to post what I had written, so apologies if it seems short or odd, it was written in quite a hurry and then I didn't have time to check it, just finish it off. I hope you still enjoy it. I will have another update for the Black Parade soon, and hopefully it won't be so long before I update this again. Please Read and review, and any comments are welcome.

I own neither Life With Derek, or Grey's Anatomy.

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"Stevens, when i assign you to do something, I do NOT mean for you to ignore me and go and flirt with a patient. You left Karev alone to cover the pit, a job which even on a quiet day requires at least two doctors to help out." Addison Montgomery-Shepherd was yelling at Stevens, trying to impress upon her the seriousness of her situation. Little did she know that the lecture wasn't needed. Coming face to face with the relative of one of the people she should have been treating had done at lot more than a thousand lectures, and Izzie had already told Denny that she wouldn't be coming up to visit him anymore.

Izzie had also told Alex that she was sorry for all the awkward situations she'd put him in, making him cover for her while she went to see Denny. He hadn't said anything at the time, but Izzie was hoping that maybe they could talk more later. She'd suddenly realised how much she missed him.

Derek walked into Casey's room the following morning carrying a giant teddy from the gift store. It was bright pink, and exactly the sort of thing that Casey would claim to hate, but secretly long for. She was still sleeping, and she looked so peaceful. Derek marvelled at the protective way Casey's arm fell across her stomach, even in sleep.

"You might be able to fool everyone else, Miss Casey, but you can't fool me. You want this baby kept safe" Derek whispered in Casey's ear, not loud enough to wake her. He settled into the chair next to the bed and took her hand in his again. Hearing the door open, he looked up in panic, desperate that no one wake Casey before she was ready. After all, when she was asleep, she was healing, a little at a time. He needn't have worried.

"How long have you been here?" Dr Montgomery-Shepherd asked Derek in a low voice. She, like the young doctor/relative, knew that the patient needed her rest.

"Only just arrived. Did she have a good night?" Derek asked. Sensing that the doctor needed to talk about Casey, he quietly got up and walked out of the room, so they could talk undisturbed.

"After you left, she was ok until about 11, when she woke up screaming from a nightmare. After that, she resisted sleep, and given the circumstances, we were loathe to sedate her. The likelihood is that she has PTSD, and if we sedated her and she had a nightmare, she'd find it harder to wake up from it, which would make the PTSD worse. So we had the nurses sit with her on a rota, until she finally relaxed enough to fall back to sleep about 5 this morning."

Derek was silent as he took all this in. Casey had a long road to recovery ahead, one that didn't just involve physical healing, but mental and emotional healing as well.

"If I don't disturb her, can I sit with her?" Derek asked. He didn't like the thought of Casey being all alone, even if she wasn't physically conscious of the fact.

"Of course. I'll come back to check on her in about an hour, but if anything changes, have one of the nurses page me. I'll have a couple of interns come down soon to check her vitals, so we'll be keeping an eye on her. She's in very good hands, Derek. I know this all seems serious, and it is, but she seems to be a fighter. She'll pull through."

Derek went back into Casey's room and sat down by the bed. Figuring he was going to be here a while, he'd bought a book at the gift store, which he now took out and tried to read. He was disturbed, however, by the door opening again, and Dr Karev walking in.

"Hey, how are you today?" he asked. Derek was shocked. By the look of the doctor, he had 1001 other things to be worrying about, and yet he immediately asked how Derek was coping. The thought flashed across his mind that Casey was exactly like that – always thinking of others first. Now he had to follow her example and think of someone else before himself – and that someone else was going to be Casey.

"I'll be better when she's better. Apparently she had a bad night, so I'm just going to wait here until she wakes up" Derek said in a low voice.

"Are there any other family members that could be here with you, so that you're not dealing with this on your own?" Alex asked.

"When I call them, they'll all swoop down. That's going to be a lot for Casey to handle. Her mother and father, my father and mother, her sister, my brother and sister, and the twins. One of the things about blended families is that relatives suddenly multiply like rabbits. When Casey's a bit stronger, then I'll call them. They'll be mad, but not for long." Derek said. In truth, he didn't want to have to relinquish care of Casey over to Nora just yet.

"Derek?" Casey asked sleepily. Derek's heart leaped at the sound of her voice, and at the realisation that he was the first person she asked for when she woke up. He meant as much to her as she meant to him.

"I'm here, precious. How are you?" Derek asked tenderly. Alex Karev checked Casey's vitals quickly, then left the siblings together. Casey McDonald had a long way to go, in every sense, and if they wanted to suspend real life for as long as possible, then he wasn't going to stand in their way.

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Thanks for reading, and please review. Oh and if that seemed as though it were slightly Dasey-ish, that's because I've been writing the Black parade recently which is very Dasey, and I couldn't seem to stop.


	7. Decisions

Ok, sorry it's been a while since my last update, I've half lost my inspiration for this story. BUT after this chapter, there is only going to be maybe one or two left, so it's almost finished...yay! If the ending to this chapter (with the poem) seems strange, blame tiredness and too much pre-raphaelite tragedy recently. I tried to use it to inject some humour, hopefully it worked. Please read and review, with any comments or criticisms.

Disclaimer: I don't any of the LWD or Grey's Anatomy characters, ir the poem Porphyria's Lover, by Robert Browning

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"Derek, why didn't you call us sooner?" Nora reproved her oldest step son over the phone, having just heard the news about her daughter's recent tragedy.

"I wanted to wait until Casey was stable before I called in the troops. If she'd been in serious danger, I'd have called you immediately, Nora. You know that." Derek said calmly.

"George is booking flights as we speak, we'll be there by tonight. Will they still let us visit her then?" Nora's tone still carried disapproval. She couldn't believe that Derek hadn't called her the second he knew something was wrong with Casey.

"They'll let you see her, don't worry. And Nora, she really isn't doing too badly now. Her recovery now is going to be mainly psychological – once she's decided what to do about the baby."

"You know she'd never abort, Derek. Much as she'll find it hard to carry the child of a rapist, she won't want to wish the sins of the father upon the child." Nora said quietly. She didn't know if she was ready to be a grandmother yet.

"She might have it adopted, but knowing Casey, she'll probably want to make a success out of this. She hasn't mentioned anything about the baby yet, so I don't know what she wants to do, but it's doubtful she'll have an abortion. Look, I've got to go, but I'll see you tonight when you get here. I'll wait around until you arrive." Derek could see Casey sitting up and looking around, so he wanted to finish up this phone call as quickly as possible.

"Ok Derek, see you tonight. And Derek – take care of my baby for me" Nora said, choking on a sob that threatened to overcome her. She hung up before Derek could hear her cry – she wasn't ready to forgive him yet for not calling her as soon as he found out something was wrong with Casey.

Derek hung up the pay phone and went back in to Casey's room.

"Hey honey, how long have you been awake?" Derek asked, sitting down beside her bed. She looked a little more rested today, hopefully an indication that she was getting more sleep and was healing, mentally.

"About 10 minutes. Were you talking to mom on the phone?" She looked up at him with eyes that still held a veil of sadness that he couldn't believe he hadn't just noticed. He took her hand in his before continuing.

"They're all coming out tonight. She tore me off a strip for not calling her sooner, and she misses you and loves you" Derek said. Casey just put her head back on the pillow and said nothing. She stayed like that, until Derek saw a silent tear making its way down her cheek. Gently, he leaned over to brush it away, but as soon as he made contact with her face, Casey's eyes snapped open and her entire body language changed. Her breathing became ragged, and she started trying to sit up to escape. Derek, in a complete panic but knowing that he had to stay calm for Casey, pressed the call button for a doctor and just spoke soothingly to Casey, but she couldn't hear him.

"Ok, what's going on in here?" Dr Montgomery-Shepherd came in with a nurse and Dr Karev behind her.

"She was getting upset so I tried to comfort her but I guess I must have spooked her, because she just started freaking out."

Alex Karev, seeing that Derek was going to be a hindrance, not an aid, to helping Casey calm down, drew him out of the room.

"Derek, you have to know this is going to happen...she's suffering from PTSD, she was raped and she tried to kill herself. She will not always be rational. That is why YOU have to be everything she can't be at the moment. You have to be strong to make up for her weakness. You have to be rational to counteract her fears." Derek nodded at the sense in Dr Karev's words. For the first time in his life, he could properly repay Casey for all the help she had given him. He could be her helpmeet, her stronghold and her port in the storm that was currently her life. He would be all she would need him to be and more.

"Karev? Casey's asking for Dr Venturi" Addison Montgomery-Shepherd gestured to Derek, indicating he should go back in the room.

"I've got to be strong, like she would be for me, for her" Derek said to Karev before going into Casey's room.

He walked straight over to the bed and sat down, not on it, but near it. If he'd overcrowded Casey earlier, he was going to wait for her to invite him closer now.

"How you doing, Space?" he quipped, falling back on an old nickname from many moons ago that he knew would make Casey smile, just a little. His efforts didn't go unrewarded. His step sister gave him a smile – small, and filled with pain, but a smile none the less, and rolled her eyes at him.

"De-rek, you'd think I could get some sympathy when I'm in hospital, but no, you can't even let me have a breakdown in peace, you have to go and get a doctor." Derek burst out laughing. Maybe, just maybe, they'd work together to figure all this out.

Later that evening, Derek was pacing nervously outside Casey's room once more. Nora and the rest of the family had arrived, and had swept straight in to see Casey. Derek knew that when Nora had satisfied her need to see and fuss over her daughter, he'd be in for a major tongue lashing.

The door opening made him jump, and spin round sheepishly, like a child caught in the act of stealing cookies from the jar. Nora was standing there with her hands on her hips, looking stern.

"Casey told me that you did the right thing, that she's been a nightmare to be around and you're the only one who could have coped with it." Nora shocked Derek with her opening words. Sure, they were true – Derek was used to dealing with nightmare Casey, far more than the rest of the family – but for Nora to come right out and admit it amazed him.

"I should have called you earlier, I know, but she was so weak and so damaged" Derek said, running a hand through his already unruly dark locks. To his surprise, Nora went up to him and just wrapped her arms round him in a hug.

"Thank you for looking after my baby. She wouldn't be as she is without you"

Even later that night, when Nora and the rest of the family had finally convinced themselves that Casey might just get through this, and had gone to their hotel to get some rest, Derek sat looking at a book, but not reading it. Casey slept in the bed, and Derek's thoughts were going a million miles an hour.

Deciding that nothing could be worse than sitting here not reading a book he'd bought with him, he picked up one of Casey's books to see if that held his interest anymore than the latest slash and investigate novel. Opening it to the last page Casey had read, Derek groaned, realising it was a poetry anthology. Before he could discard the book, his eyes caught a marked poem. What seemed at first to be a touching story of love turned out to be darker and more violent that anything Derek had read in a long time. He couldn't believe Casey could like a poem such as this, that spoke of killing the woman you love so that she will never stop loving you, and of kissing her passionately after you'd strangled her. The last four lines were especially poignant, considering what Casey was going through.

_Her darling one wish would be heard_

_And thus we sit together now_

_And all night long we have not stirred_

_And yet God has not said a word!_

Casey still wanted to die, Derek decided. She still wanted to die because she couldn't live with what had been done to her, and he didn't know how to save her.

Casey awoke to the sound of Derek sobbing helplessly, muttering over and over to himself. She looked over and saw him holding her poetry book, of all things, and trying to muffle the sound of his pain.

"Derek, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" she asked.

"I read this. Case, I want to help you but I don't know how. I...I read your poetry book. Why do you love this poem so much?"

Looking at the one Derek was reading, Casey started giggling. The sound was so familiar to Derek that he couldn't help but smile, even though he was confused as hell. Was Casey's mental state so bad?

"I studied 'negative love' at college. That was one of the poems I wrote my final essay on. It has no extra significance, don't worry." Seeing Derek's still worried face, Casey couldn't help but laugh again. "Derek, you thought I was still suicidal, didn't you? It's a good thing I wasn't reading 'The Flea' before I fell asleep, otherwise you'd definitely have had me admitted to the psych ward by now. I love this poem, but I don't identify with it. I'm not suicidal, and I've made my decision. I'm not visiting the sins of the father upon the innocent. I'm not going to kill the baby just because the conception was less than ideal. I want to raise him or her myself, and make sure something good comes of this tragedy."

Derek started to look a little less panicked, and smiled at Casey's words.

"I told Nora that's what you'd say" he said, more to himself than to Casey.


End file.
